Beyond Beyond Thunderdome

Our civilized society is very fragile. The entire thing is held together by the lines painted in the parking lot. I'm serious...you drive somewhere, you park, and there are lines that must fit your car into. You know that every time you go somewhere, and you see that Corvette parked in two spaces you have an urge to park on top of it. How DARE they!!

But then the snow comes down and erases all the lines. Suddenly it's every man for himself. First, the cars are parked every which way. Seriously, do people think that suddenly where ever your car slides to a stop is the parking space? After this last storm, I think the answer is yes. But after that, the gloves come off and it's like the horde circling the compound in the Road Warrior. I saw a woman carrying a baby almost get hit by someone who ran a stop sign. Then, while I was making a left turn (after two cars ran the red light) another car made a U-turn directly in front of me while I was in the intersection. Other people randomly decided that the appropriate thing to do on a 2 lane road was to go from 25 MPH in the right lane to 15 MPH straddling both lanes.

I'm telling you, the lines disappear and so does the rule of law. Next time it snows and you have to go out, bring your sawed off shot gun and a cross bow. You just might need them before you get where you're going.

Why is it so hard to use the turn signal?

I found out tonight I can eat a churro, set the cruise control, AND use my turn signal all at the same time. What do other people have going on that they can't use their friggin turn signals?! It's one of those things that I have no control over that eats at me.

Cell Phone Karma

Here's a good ad for Kyocera...I like it not so much for the advertising value, but squirrels latching onto a guys face always makes me laugh.

We just left the Legacy Dinner for the Denver Rescue Mission. What a humbling experience...it was really good to see where our donations are going, and that they are contributing to a greater good. The work the people at the Mission do is defintely on a higher plane than what I do day after day. If I'm not doing it, at least we're funding it.

This is a test blog

I've finally bitten the bullet and got a data plan for my Treo. One of the things this gives me the capability to do is blog on the run, and this is a test to see how well it works. If it works well, then you can expect to see a lot more entries from me.

What In The Wide, Wide, Wide World of Sports?

I was watching TV the other night and an ad came on for "Aussie" shampoo. The premise of the ad is that a giant stuffed purple kangaroo is getting a massage. I don't know how this is supposed to make you want to buy this brand of shampoo, but the masseuse for some reason finds it necessary to do an elbow drop on the kangaroo and a bottle of shampoo goes flying out of her - pouch? Is it her pouch? You decide.

It hard out here for a 'ho

While I was playing Zuma tonight, I heard the TV in the other room. As usual, it was a reality show, which is why I was playing Zuma and not in the other room. Anyway, I heard someone refer to Paris Hilton as looking like a "high priced hooker." This got me wondering...is that supposed to be an insult? I did a search on "high priced hooker" on google, and amongst the real ads for hookers were some images of the hooker that got NY Governor Eliot Spitzer busted. She's pretty hot, looking at the camera in a sultry kind of way. I then looked for images of Paris Hilton and found one where she's looking similarly sultry, and is pretty hot too.

I mean, if you're a high priced hooker, I think the odds are that you're above average looking or you could not command a high price. It's simple economics...a 'ho can only charge what the market will bear.

Take the next two for instance. On the left a real hooker. On the right, a smelly pirate hooker from Whore Island - AKA Brittney Spears. Adam Smith is long dead, but I bet 232 years ago when he was writing The Wealth Of Nations he would have postulated that the invisible hand wouldn't have touched either of these two for more than a few bucks, while Girly Sue above was pulling $4000 a visit out of the NY Gov.

My point, if I have one here, is that saying a woman looks like a high priced hooker is not much of an insult. Women obviously spend a lot of time and money to look that good.

Also, mailmen aren't the only ones who have to work in the rain. If you're a hooker, invest in a good umbrella.

You can't make this stuff up

It's like Gentle Ben, Indian style! From Fox News:

"It had all the elements of a heartwarming story: poor Indian man adopts orphaned bear cub to console daughter who'd lost her mother — but now he's in jail, his daughter was taken away... and the bear's on a hunger strike."

If you can't get a bear to replace your wife and be a mother to your young child, what CAN you do in India? So much for democracy.

Remember D-Day!!

I am a fan of history, particularly the first and second world wars. I find it fascinating (horrifying?) to see the machinations that moved so many countries to send tens of millions of people to their death. World War Two, in particular, is fascinating because of the incredible acts of evil that were perpetrated by the Nazis. What could drive people - mothers, fathers, brothers, sons, daughters, working class men and women - to ignore the atrocities at the least, or participate in them at the worst? I don't know that a satisfactory answer can be derived from that question.

What I do know is that World War II was the last time the nation was united and committed to a cause. Even a few years later, in Korea, the people at home were deeply divided by the war. It grew worse in Vietnam and war has only served as polarizing issue since then. Attempting to explain the divided mindsets, John Keegan, in the book The First World War (it took me longer to read it than America was actually involved in the war!) postulates that the media has created this wedge. Had the media, with all the access to battlefield, the photographic and video technology of today, existed in 1918 no one in modern society would have ever considered going to war again.

There are differing philosophies espoused about war. Without doing any research, I believe it was Gandhi who said that you cannot simultaneously achieve peace while preparing for war. Another perspective - was it Sun Tzu? - holds that to have peace you must be prepared for war. I believe that war is not just a possibility, it's inevitable. As long as people want what other people have - land, wealth, or most of all, power - there will be conflict. If enough people want the same thing that conflict will become a war. Maybe I am a pessimist on this topic, but if all "civilized" society laid down it's arms, someone else will pick them up. But I digress.

During World War II the Allies had two very dynamic leaders at the helm. Winston Churchill was the prime minister of England. He was pushed out of politics after World War I and labeled a "war monger" by the more appeasement minded party. Many believe that if Churchill had been in power rather than Chamberlain in 1936 the war would have been averted. Churchill's way of plain speaking and rallying his country preserved it during the long Battle Of Britain. He kept the Nazi war machine in check long enough for the isolationist America to get pulled into the fray in 1941.

On the American side, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was beloved by the nation, having led us through the depression. Historians today dispute his true value to the future of our nation, but at the time he was America, being elected to four terms as President. His "Fireside chats" kept the nation calm - or at least informed - during the depression and the war. One of his chats was on June 6th, 1944 - D-Day. The tide of war changed this day, and the defeat of Nazi Germany became more certain from this point going forward. In fact, because of this mission the world would be forever different. On the 6th FDR broadcast a short message of prayer that served to inform the nation of the invasion and rally their support at a crucial time of the conflict. I've pasted the text of the broadcast below. To hear the audio in FDR's voice click here.

“My Fellow Americans:

“Last night, when I spoke with you about the fall of Rome, I knew at that moment that troops of the United States and our Allies were crossing the Channel in another and greater operation. It has come to pass with success thus far.

“And so, in this poignant hour, I ask you to join with me in prayer:

“Almighty God: Our sons, pride of our nation, this day have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to preserve our Republic, our religion, and our civilization, and to set free a suffering humanity.

“Lead them straight and true; give strength to their arms, stoutness to their hearts, steadfastness in their faith.

“They will need Thy blessings. Their road will be long and hard. For the enemy is strong. He may hurl back our forces. Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again; and we know that by Thy grace, and by the righteousness of our cause, our sons will triumph.

“They will be sore tried, by night and by day, without rest -- until the victory is won. The darkness will be rent by noise and flame. Men's souls will be shaken with the violences of war.

“For these men are lately drawn from the ways of peace. They fight not for the lust of conquest. They fight to end conquest. They fight to liberate. They fight to let justice arise, and tolerance and goodwill among all Thy people. They yearn but for the end of battle, for their return to the haven of home.

“Some will never return. Embrace these, Father, and receive them, Thy heroic servants, into Thy kingdom.

“And for us at home -- fathers, mothers, children, wives, sisters, and brothers of brave men overseas, whose thoughts and prayers are ever with them -- help us, Almighty God, to rededicate ourselves in renewed faith in Thee in this hour of great sacrifice.

“Many people have urged that I call the nation into a single day of special prayer. But because the road is long and the desire is great, I ask that our people devote themselves in a continuance of prayer. As we rise to each new day, and again when each day is spent, let words of prayer be on our lips, invoking Thy help to our efforts.

“Give us strength, too -- strength in our daily tasks, to redouble the contributions we make in the physical and the material support of our armed forces.

“And let our hearts be stout, to wait out the long travail, to bear sorrows that may come, to impart our courage unto our sons wheresoever they may be.

“And, O Lord, give us faith. Give us faith in Thee; faith in our sons; faith in each other; faith in our united crusade. Let not the keenness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impacts of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment -- let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose.

“With Thy blessing, we shall prevail over the unholy forces of our enemy. Help us to conquer the apostles of greed and racial arrogances. Lead us to the saving of our country, and with our sister nations into a world unity that will spell a sure peace -- a peace invulnerable to the schemings of unworthy men. And a peace that will let all of men live in freedom, reaping the just rewards of their honest toil.

“Thy will be done, Almighty God.

“Amen.”

Steeped In History

We're back from Hawaii. It was as spectacular as you would imagine...but the thing that has left an impression on me is the Arizona Memorial. I've read about the attack on Pearl Harbor, but to be in the same place as the soldiers and sailors were on December 7, 1941, to see the pictures of destruction and see the same places today, it was stunning. Seeing what those people went through, trying to imagine the horrific spectacle...well, it was hard not to be affected by it.



My Grandpa Billy's brother was killed on the Arizona, so going out to the memorial meant a lot to me. I got some pictures of his name on the wall, and a great picture of the flag flying over the memorial. Now when I see a flag waving I immediately think of that image. I think it's hard to describe the effect it has on you unless you have been to a place so steeped in history.



This is the eve of D-Day and the invasion of Normandy by allied forces, which was arguably the most daring and significant campaign of the war. Tomorrow I will post the text of Franklin Roosevelt's D-Day prayer.

Flying Sharks

I saw a special on National Geographic or Animal Planet or some channel about the flying sharks of Madagascar. I think it was Madagascar....it was some island anyway. This place is loaded with seals and as you know seals are like the monkeys of the sea. They're super lithe and agile and stuff. Anyway, these sharks are not as nimble as the seals...or are they? They started showing all this footage of great whites leaping from the water and catching the seals in mid air! A little seal got wounded and made it over by the boat, and the film people were all "We can't interfere, this is nature." but then they realized that nature was probably going to make a great white shark fly onto their boat and crush them all. So then they decided that nature wanted them to pull the seal into the boat and haul ass back to shore with it. So then in a happy coincidence my friend Troy sent me the above motivational poster. That about sums it up.

Progress!

My hip has been virtually pain free for three days in a row now. I think it's just about ready to go. Still working on the knee, but it's been much better over the last week or so. I'm stoked to be on the verge of getting back on the road.

I also got a business card from one of the folks at work for a guy who does running coaching. I need to contact him and have him do a gait analysis to see how much of the original injury stems from my running form (I'm pretty sure I overstride) and how much was due to the wrong shoe. The third component was overuse - I ran, and ran only, for the better part of three years. This allowed the muscles to get out of balance in my leg which cascaded to the other problems. I'll keep strength training and biking in the mix going forward to avoid creating that problem again.

Afro-tastic

When I was 12 years old, my brother got a wherm - a white man's perm. That's right, my 'bro had a 'fro. Like the mullet in the age of heavy metal, you weren't cool unless you had a 'fro in 1979. Lately it's been coming back in vogue. Love it or not, the afro is back in full force.


Fletch had the classic line while daydreaming about playing for the lakers - "He's 6'5", 6'9" with the afro" - and the 'fro as a comedy tool was born. Today the "Jewfro" is sported by Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill, and Big Willie Farrell rocks it, complete with the sweat band, in Semi-pro.

In the 70's the 'fro was all over the music scene. Leo Sayer told the world "You Make Me Feel Like Dancin' (I want to dance the night away)" but he also said he wanted to do it with a curly helmet of hair. Of course the disco peeps - The Commodores, Kool & The Gang, Earth Wind and Fire - all had the 'fro doin' the hustle. However, I think the greatest afro of the era, maybe of all eras, had to belong to Jeff Lynne of ELO, who had the afro-beard combo. The man looked like a sheepdog and didn't care who knew it.

I have to confess as a guy in my late 30's with a receding hairline (I don't have a forehead, I have a sixhead) I'm a little jealous of any one with enough hair to pull off the afro. There's no room in this world for a balding guy with bad hair...or is there? Check out Art Garfunkel!

The next step would be to combine the 'fro with the mullet - the frullet! Bad idea - Kenny G proved that even a total ass clown like him can take things to a new low with a bad 'do. I suppose I should count my blessings and think about all of the money I save on shampoo and "product" by sticking with a simple buzzcut.

Catching up

By way of updates, I won't discuss work...you know that the frequency of my posts is inversely related to the hours I'm logging, and my last post was almost three weeks ago, so that says all you need to know.

It's now been 57 days since I started mini-size me and it hasn't worked out like I had hoped, at least not entirely. I haven't been to any of the fast food places and have stuck to healthier fare at restaurants, but I haven't been dropping much weight. I'm only down a couple of pounds since this started. I guess I had higher expectations. On the other hand I have been sleeping better. I feel better. And I'll find out in another month and a half if my bloodwork looks better. I'll keep after it...I think when I start running again I will see the weight come off.

Speaking of which, I have been in physical therapy for a month now and the hip and knee are coming back into line. They've been taping my patella in place and doing strengthening exercises for it, and for the last two weeks I haven't had it taped. It is bothering me less and less. My hip is still painful in certain positions, but they've narrowed it down to inflammations of the attachment points of a pair of muscles; the psoas (which attaches to the front of the spine and upper portion of the front of the femur)and the piriformis (which passes through the "greater sciatic foramen" and attaches to the sacrum and the back of the upper femur). Through some deep tissue work they've gotten the muscles to release and the hip had full range of motion without pain, but only temporarily. I do have consistent increase in the range of motion though not without pain, and I start back into some light running this weekend, assuming that my knee doesn't start hurting. I'm almost back, baby! I'll get another update out and let you know how it goes.

Shocker! comes to life

Check out this story. It's kinda creepy...a guy gets a heart transplant with the heart coming from a guy who shot himself. The guy meets the widow to thank her for the gift of life, and marries her. A few years go by and he shoots himself. Now I'm really hoping that the person from whom my bone grafts came from was a "normal" individual and not a serial killer or a suicidal personality. Actually, I had two bone grafts...what if they came from two different people - one a serial killer and one an FBI profiler. Would I start stalking myself, only to catch on at the last minute and bust me?

Would you rather?

What would you rather watch? The finale of "Celebrity Apprentice" or "In Her Shoes" starring Cameron Diaz and that beast that played the mom in The Sixth Sense? Apparently those are my only choices tonight and "In Her Shoes" is winning. Kill me now.

Minisize Me Update

As you may have guessed from the infrequent posts that I have been really busy at work and haven't made the time to blog. Good news, though...I am still soda and fast food free after 16 days. I have only lost a pound and a half, partly because of my lack of activity, and partly because I have been invited to taco night and have eaten my fill two weeks in a row. There have been some interesting changes though. I am sleeping a lot better, for one thing, both how quickly I fall asleep and the overall quality of sleep. I also no longer get the afternoon crazies where I have to have something sugar filled.


So my lack of activity is driven by my hip. I finally got in to see an orthopedist, and last week I had an MRI on the hip. The doc is looking to confirm or rule out femoral-acetabular impingement. If you look that up you'll see that it's no easy fix. I have a review this coming Friday to see that the MRI says. I've seen the images but other than knowing that I am looking at the femur and hip socket I have no idea what any of them mean. The fixes range from physical therapy to open-hip surgery.

As for the knew pain, my knee caps are not tracking right and my right knee is worse than the left. This is called patella femoral syndrome and is also known as "runner's knee." The prognosis here is much better. The root cause is generally overtraining and can be made worse by overpronation, from which I also suffer. The fix is generally just physical therapy and strengthening specific muscles.

That's it for now...I'll try to get more updates in this week.

Since starting "Minisize me" five days ago I have not been out for fast food. I have had pizza, which in moderation is not bad for you. In moderation.

I also have not had any sugared soda. I never said anything about beer - I have had a couple of those!

So how is it going so far? One of the things that has struck me is how often my thoughts default to fast food. I'll ask my wife what we should have for dinner, and immediately I think about the Good Times teriyaki chicken sandwich, or the Carl's Jr Santa Fe chicken (both better choices than their burgers, but when you add the fries and the coke, that's where you pay the price!). So we have been cooking dinner rather than going for the McDinner and have actually eaten all of the left overs, which we seldom do. So far, so good.

Where I've faced the bigger challenge is in the cravings department. Even though I had cut back to one soda per day, that one soda has a hold on me. At about two or three in the afternoon I start jonesing for a can of coke. I've tried drinking some diet sodas but they all taste like ass, and not in the good lets-try-something-new way. The only one I've found palatable is diet 7Up, but even that doesn't feed the beast. Monday at work I found myself wandering by the vending machines against my will, shaking and scratching at an imagined itch on the inside of my elbow, thinking "I could buy one and only drink half. That's still good, right?" I held out though...primarily because I didn't have enough cash and walking to the ATM seemed too desperate, like sneaking out to see my dealer or something. And I also have a horrible sweet tooth. After dinner each night I get the urge for anything sweet, preferably chocolate cake. Sugar free jello with a squirt of canned whipped cream (total calories: 80!) seems to do the trick on this one. And an apple is always a good sweet treat.

Anyhow, I'm still fast food and soda-free after five days and have been getting reacquainted with a couple of old friends called fruits and vegetables.

More to come...

Minisize Me

I watched Supersize Me last week. If you've not seen it, it's about a guy who read about the lawsuits filed by two obese women against McDonald's alleging that the fast food giant had made them fat. The suit was tossed but it got this guy thinking - "What would happen if I ate McDonald's for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days?" The results surprised even the doctors who were monitoring his vitals over the course of the experiment. The fatty deposits in his liver (my Dr. knew what the name of this condition is, but I can't recall it) are similar to the effects of alcoholic cirrhosis. His Dr. at one point said "If you were an alcoholic, I would tell you that you're going to die."

So I got to thinking - what would the opposite effects be? I eat Good Times or Carl's Jr or McDonald's probably 3 or 4 times per week. I'm 185 pounds and 5'5" (apparently I shrunk since last year). I'm on Vytorin for high cholesterol (specifically VLDL) and Benicar for high blood pressure. I just had a physical today so I'll know next week what my lipid profile looks like this year. I mentioned this to my Dr. and he thought this was a great idea. He even wants me to come in after I'm done and see how much of a difference it has made so he can share the results with other patients.

For the next 90 days I will not eat fast food - that is McDonald's, Carl's Jr, Good Times, Wendy's, etc. I will not drink soda with sugar in it. When we eat out, I will eat only grilled fish or chicken, no fries. I'll allow myself once per month to have a more elaborate dinner (like Pagliacci's) but will not do that more than once per month. And I will track my success and issues here in this blog.

Best Movie Line In A Long Time

I'm watching "Good Luck Chuck" and it's cracking me up. His friend is completely inappropriate and steals the show. His best line so far this one:

"I would suck a fart out of her ass and hold it like a bong hit."

It's gonna blow!

Another new term: Vesuviass (ve-su-vi-ass) a person who had (has)uncontrollable, explosive diarrhea.

"I went to make a deuce, but a Vesuviass had used the stall before me. Chocolate lava was everywhere."

Finally, The Black Man Catches A Break

While browsing the web today the following headline caught my eye:

Study: Prostitutes in Chicago Forced to Service Police Officers for Free, Charge Whites and Hispanics More

The full article is here. The hookers were paid $150 per week for the study, which is about 50% of their normal wage, so I assume that they must not be too good at math. Repeat customers get charged less (a volume discount makes sense) and I understand charging whites more - the general perception is that whites make more money. Why do the Hispanics get screwed in this deal? Do Hispanics make more than blacks? If I were black AND a repeat customer AND a cop I guess I'd be asking the hooker to pay me.

I found it pretty interesting that hooking follows a lot of the same laws as the rest of the free market - demand goes up during the holidays, just like the rest of the retail industry. The real problem is figuring out how to fit that gift into the stocking...well, a stocking you want to put on the mantle anyway.

Old Man River, Zip It Or I'll Break Your Hip!

If you've been reading this blog you're familiar with my knee problems. I haven't scrolled back to check, and can't remember offhand, if I mentioned that I also developed a problem with my hip. When I make certain movements I feel a really bad pull in my upper groin and a searing pain deep in my hip. It's enough that at times I have collapsed when I've tried to do something like jump onto the bed or chase the wife. I assumed it was a muscle pull and therefore I have treated it as such. It's been about two months and it's not gotten any better. Other people I've spoken to who have dealt with a pulled groin have said that they take forever to heal, so I didn't think about it.

On New Years day I had some time so I did a little research, and based on my symptoms it sounds like I actually have a stress fracture in my hip. Once that thought got in my head, it made perfect sense. First, with my problems with my knee I am sure that sub consciously I changed my running stride. When that happens it almost always leads to an injury somewhere else. Second, when I think about the movements that cause pain and visualize how the muscles would pull on the bones, a fracture seems almost obvious. So I've stopped treating it like a pulled muscle and more like a stress fracture, and within 2 days I have noticed significantly less pain.

Because I'm not a complete moron, I've also made an appointment with my doctor so I can get a referral to an orthopedist and get a real diagnosis. We'll see what ol' Sawbones has to say on the matter.