I'm back, baby!

I forget if I've written about this or not, and I'm too lazy to go back and look. Back in July I got new running shoes. I've been running in the Saucony Grid Omni since the Omni 3, which I loved. I went through two pair of those, then the Omni 4, which I didn't like as much. The Omni 5 was awesome and again I went through 2 pair of those. That's about 1500 miles in the Omni series. Naturally when I needed a new pair and they were selling the Omni 6 that is what I went with. After about 20 miles I was developing blisters on my left foot (I NEVER get blisters on my left foot) and I had some discomfort in my right knee. I thought I was just breaking the shoes in so I kept going. Another 20 miles and the discomfort had turned into pain. Another 20 and I was having to take 3-4 days between runs. I knew at that point that the shoes were bad.

I went to Boulder Running Company and had them videotape my stride and sure enough my over-pronation was exaggerated in the Omni 6. It turns out that Saucony softened the in-step and that is where I need the most support. My foot rolled over too far and the knee was taking all the stress. I got fitted for the Asics Gel Foundation, which stopped the foot roll in the right spot.

Still, it's been a slow road back. I've been slowly increasing my mileage from a low week of 4 miles to this week's high of 15.5 miles. I've done two consecutive runs of greater than 5 miles for the first time since July and my knees, feet and shoes feel great.

It's such a relief to know that I'm back because this is my favorite time of year to run. Morning temperatures are in the high 40s or low 50s, it's light enough to run but dark enough that the world is still largely asleep. This morning I timed it perfectly so that I was at a high point and could see over all of the houses across the field just as the first blaze orange sliver of the sun rose from the embers glowing along the eastern horizon. It was a beautiful, singular moment and goes into the bag of reasons why I like to run. Now that I'm back on friendly terms with my knee I will have many more like that this fall.

If you don't know this guy, you ARE this guy

I have a couple of people at work that I've come up with a new name for. I term them BEDEs. BEDE stands for "Been Everywhere, Done Everything." These people are everywhere, mostly male, and if you've never worked with one, then you ARE one. I won't use actual conversations in case anyone from work ever actually reads this, but this is how it goes down:

Me: "I had to spend $900 to fix the ABS in my car this week."
BEDE: "I worked with the guy that invented ABS. He was a genius - but he had a weird habit of putting olive oil on his cereal."

You can see what I'm up against. This particular BEDE has a knack for making his outrageous statement, then following up with a comment that adds a drop of color to the anecdote, and in his mind, makes it more authentic.

The only thing better than one BEDE is two.

BEDE1: "Once I went into space."
BEDE2: "I spent 6 months in space. Twice. My copilot's head began to change shape and look like an alien's head."
BEDE1: "I rigged my suit so I could urinate in space. My frozen droplets should have reached Seti-Alpha 6 by now."
BEDE2: "I pooped on the sun. Did you know that feces turns blue at 10,000 degrees?"

Have a coke and a smile!

Here's a good story about how the customs and immigration are helping to secure our borders. Anyone who thinks we have lost any of our freedoms due to the Patriot act can take solace in the fact that even if you're caught with night vision goggles, thousands of dollars in cash and GPS coordinates to a known drug smuggling trail there's nothing that the government can do to you until you call them to report that you lost your cocaine!

Of course, the ultimate irony is that it was a helpful boy scout who finally found the drug laden bags.

Agent 1: "You'd better fess up pal, or you're going up for a long time! We've got the goods on you!"

Agent 2: "That's right! All this cash, the GPS device, the night vision equipment...all we're missing is the backpacks full of coke!"

Drug Guy: "Me too!!! Can you help a brother out?"


Now that they have this guy squared away, maybe they can get OJ to accidentally confess to murder!

Angels and Devils

Getting a tattoo is a lot like planning a family. "Rich," you might be saying, "I don't see how they can possibly be related. Tell me more." If you insist.

First, getting a tattoo is a serious proposition. Once you've got ink under the skin, there's no going back. Once you have a kid, there's no going back either. Either way, you have something that, like it or not, you're stuck with for life. Obviously a lifetime decision is not one to be entered into lightly. However, getting a tattoo, just like knocking a girl up, happens a lot when people have been drinking.

Anyway, I've been planning out my next tattoo for some time now. It's a lengthy process that takes time, and I've struggled with different concepts. I've thought about using my totem animal (the coyote) or sticking with the bones theme I've got going. I haven't tried to force it, because tattooing is an art, and I feel that, as with most art forms, when you come across the right thing it may just suddenly click. That's what happened here. I was listening to Social Distortion's "Winner's and Losers" and heard the following line: "There's lovers and haters/The strong, the week will all have their day/we're devils and angels/Which one will I be today?"

That like stuck in my head like Velcro. It ruminated for a while in the back of my mind, then popped up like toast with an image attached. We always have the angel and devil on our shoulders, whispering their messages in our ears. Freud called it the Superego and the Id. The question is, which one wins out? That second piece of cake may be angel's food, but it's probably not the angel telling you to go ahead and eat it. I can definitely tell you the devil has a lot of sway when I drive. So I wanted to go with the angel and devil theme. I searched and searched for just the right image for my style. I found a lot of them, mostly really realistic looking artwork like this, or super sexy vintage-pinups like this, pleasantly skanky like this, or really skanky like this or this.

In the end I really liked this one. This one ties my angel/devil, good/evil idea together with my cartoon/comic book theme. It's just more in keeping with my style.

This will go on my left, or sinister, shoulder. I could not find the equivalent artwork for the angel, so I'll have to have the tattoo artist draw it up, reverse it and put it on my right shoulder.

Alternately, the same site has this one of the devil gal driving a car, which, as I mentioned, is when the devil wins me over the most.

I'll probably get this done later this year - Maybe around Thanksgiving. So, there's the first half of my new tattoo journey with more to come later after the I get the artwork finished and decide on an artist.

If you get a chance, check out Social D's "Sex, Love and Rock & Roll." It's a good album! I like "Winners and Losers," "Live Before You Die," and "Nickels and Dimes" the most, but the whole album rocks. And you never know what it might inspire you to do!

Getting Off Of My Ass

I often lament about not having enough time to do things (like in my last post). But then I always seem to manage to fit in a couple hours of TV every day, and I do a lot of needless running around town on errands. I've decided that I may not have any more time in the day, but I am going to get off of my ass and start doing some things. Monday I start a beginning guitar class. 5 weeks, 50 bucks and I'll be on my way to jamming out tunes like Orion or More Than A Feeling. I haven't actually signed up for the class yet, but putting it down in writing and putting it out in public like this is a great motivator. Studies prove that people who document their goals are more likely to achieve them.

Another reason I have no time is my job. It's hard to do everything you want when working a full time job for a soul sucking company like mine. That comes off a little whiny and desperate, but it's mostly true. You could do a lot more of what you want if you didn't have to work so much. That's why being retired or being a politician look so good. Plenty of down time to practice yoga, talk about how things used to be, or cruise public bathrooms tapping out Morse code and looking for a piece of ass.

So that's the magic move - not (allegedly) being a gay senator, but finding the dream job that I can do what I want, when I want and still make money and live the life I'm accustomed to now...or wait! Live a better life than I do now! I don't think I can make it as a gigolo, so that's out. Maybe I could be a pimp! I do like hats, and I've been thinking about trying to bring the walking cane back into vogue. I just need some hos, and 72 Cadillac with spinners on it. I'll get back to you on this!

I'm a lazy, lazy man

I don't have the time or energy to write anything new, so here's one of my faves from my old journal:

Clue was one of the coolest games ever. It became an icon. People would always say a line from the game when being questioned about something. Like, you would have broken something and made a half assed attempt to cover it up, and your parents would say “Who did this?” and you would reply “Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick!” and everyone would laugh and laugh and laugh.

Ok, that never happened, but seriously, who was the guy who played Mr. Green? And what ever became of him? He looks like he was a real dick. But I bet at parties he would talk it up to the chicks.

Mr Green: “You know, I am Mr Green from “Clue.”

Hot Chick: “Seriously?”

MG: “Totally. Here, let me do the pose for you.”

HC: “Take me to bed right now!”

MG: (internal monologue): “Mr. Green is going to do it in the bedroom with his cock!”