I have a couple of people at work that I've come up with a new name for. I term them BEDEs. BEDE stands for "Been Everywhere, Done Everything." These people are everywhere, mostly male, and if you've never worked with one, then you ARE one. I won't use actual conversations in case anyone from work ever actually reads this, but this is how it goes down:
Me: "I had to spend $900 to fix the ABS in my car this week."
BEDE: "I worked with the guy that invented ABS. He was a genius - but he had a weird habit of putting olive oil on his cereal."
You can see what I'm up against. This particular BEDE has a knack for making his outrageous statement, then following up with a comment that adds a drop of color to the anecdote, and in his mind, makes it more authentic.
The only thing better than one BEDE is two.
BEDE1: "Once I went into space."
BEDE2: "I spent 6 months in space. Twice. My copilot's head began to change shape and look like an alien's head."
BEDE1: "I rigged my suit so I could urinate in space. My frozen droplets should have reached Seti-Alpha 6 by now."
BEDE2: "I pooped on the sun. Did you know that feces turns blue at 10,000 degrees?"
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2 comments:
The thing that really sucks is when you are temporarily a BEDE. I guess that's a BSDS (Been Somewhere, Done Somethings). But like when someone brings up something you've been reading about but can't find anyone to talk about with...
I always walk away from those conversations wondering where the asshole in me came from. Now I'll just walk away thinking, "That was a BEDE moment!"
That's what I'm all about. Lighting candles.
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